Beginning of June

My head seems to be making sense most of the time now so I have not felt the need to write many new posts. Before I would be looking after O and thinking in my head what I wanted to write my next post about, or perhaps sitting there writing a drafted version ready to put it up when I had read it through. Yes, rather obsessive, but my feelings of worthlessness, unwanted-ness and all the other sh*t has subsided considerably over the last few weeks. I still miss having my best friend more than anything, telling A about the little things that I find funny and hearing about the silly things he does/thinks, and all the other stuff that comes with being in love. When one gets into a routine its hard to break it, I still sit at my pc some evenings wondering where the f*ck I went wrong There is no point in wondering about what would have happened if I did things like this or like that as I think I took enough chances :)

I am keeping myself busy and generally feeling better about myself as a person. I am finally able to get some strength from myself, rather than other people, ie A. I think being in a city alone where I could not run back to my parents has helped me grow up a lot, not taking anything away from the support that I have got from people though! I am not so scared of trying new things as much as I was before.. Not that I am reckless or anything, just the worry of the future is not as over bearing on my decisions as it was before.

Had a busy week, work wise. Lots of looking after all three boys and with the weather being amazing, they are 10 times more crazy. Haha. Enjoyed it though, I should sleep a bit more. I had 13 hours sleep from Sat to Tuesday so was a little bit zombie-ish, but only because I am used to my 8 hours. Now I have got used to not sleeping :P Not been very well either, head cold and ear aches and such, but I did not let it make me feel down or even sleep more, even though I should have. Been waiting for the weekend to come!

Yes other things.
Running...... I do not actually look that red but I was! And very sweaty! Good times!

Cakes...... Muffins while watching masterchef. NOMNOMNOM

Time for the weekend!
Take care of yourselves.
BryonyRuth