What do you do when you love someone but fancy another?

This depends completely on the situation and the couple/people. People always have choices.

People should make the decision of not putting themselves in that situation, but is never always that easy. There are various ways of flirting. It can be harmless, up until the point that you can see yourself wanting to be with that person on a different level to friendship. Then you should back off. But if not, this is where it spirals, especially if the other person shows more than a friendly interest back.

The comparisions between the person that you love and the person that you wanna get with.
Examples with particular reference to the situations that I have put myself in before.......
Distance - This person is here with me now whereas the person I love is far away.
Freedom - This person is free like a bird and likes me for the fun loving person that I am whereas the person I love is 'slave driver' and always expects things of me that I can't give them.
Hotter - This person is hotter than my partner and wants to be with me.
Excitement - I have been with the person I love for so long I think being with this person would make my life better in the here and now.
Interests - This person has more in common with me than my loved one.
Way of living - This person gets me for who I am and doesnt want to change me, others expect too much from me.

I think being able to see these things in time will help you save a loving relationship and I think the wisdom comes with age/experiences. I am only 23 so I can not say much about this and there are happily married couples with kids getting broken up by one of the parents f*cking off and deciding this 'hot younger free' person is what I need in my life, well why don't you just get a bloody motorcycle rather than f*cking your secetary.

When this goes on for such a long time some people are incapable of seeing why they should be with the person they love, what they love about them and why you ever saw them in your future.

Because you love them, you do not want to hurt them but how ever you go about breaking up with them will be hard on the other person and perhaps yourself if you let yourself think about what you are losing. Chosing a life without the person that you love is hard, but many people choose to do it. Many people cheat on their loved ones. God, we should hate human beings all the time. Just can not let it get to you in that way.

Ways of breaking the spiral -
Backing off and putting yourself in different situations.
Being honest with the person you love, however hard you find it.
Being able to step back from past situations and seeing what the hell you are/have doing.
Giving things a TRY, being a f*cking pussy and backing off just shows that you are a mess and that you do not understand yourself.

I have been unfaithful with my past partners, last relationship excluded. But that relationship was started on bad grounds with both of us. He saw his ex in a bad light because of me and I saw mine in a bad light because of him. I did not want to put myself in situations where I could see myself intimate with another person in the same way as him, I still lived my life, I still lived in another city by myself but he was enough for me. He was all I needed, and although we were apart I still wanted him in everything that I experienced.

People will learn with time. The people than turn into the 'rebounds/new partner' were often the people that the other person saw themselves with while in a relationship with their loved one. Again, just gotta be honest. Can not expect everything to be the same. It will not. Being with other people is completely different. The love is no longer there. But affection is so it is sometimes enough. Being in loved and having the feeling returned is amazing. Makes everything else in life sweeter, sex, spring, flowers, food, games, tv, anything stupid and so much more!!

Best is to not blame yourself if you are the receiving end of it. People cheat, people think others are better for them but as long as you can honestly say you were yourself and that you did everything for the relationship then you just gotta move forward. When someone has made up their mind, trying to tell them what they are doing is a mistake will make them pull away more. Until you lose them from your life completely. This only helps if the hate and anger comes. With me, I feel too f*cking understanding. In my first year of uni, I told the person that I loved he could sleep with other people as we were only young and we should experience life... Too fucking understanding for my age I tell you. Though some people may call it naive :P I do not care that he found others attractive even he didnt sleep with anyone else, and I do not compare myself to them, there is no point!

Life is sh*t and you just have to live through it. There are so many moments of happiness! Just gotta let them come and not put your life on hold because a certain someone f*cks you over.

There is always forgiveness and there is always the future.

BryonyRuth xx